Saturday, October 18, 2014

We Need A Predator

Us ol' humans seem to have it too good; being on the top of the food chain has made us soft.  We have too much time on our hands these days, using our potential in evolving for other things; we pollute, sit on the couch watching tv while eating processed foods, we start wars with one another, we are self involved, we think material things are more important than human things, we are losing our ability to think or to take good care of ourselves.  We have also become complacent and live our lives in indifference.  So what can help us out of our rut?  What can give us the push we need?  What can inspire us to get back to our human ways?  I think it is bigger than us.  I hope that it can kill us.  It can be any shape or form we can imagine - mine being that it is half shark half robot = Sharkbot.   Yes, I believe we need a predator.  Something that preys on us.  Something that stalks us for food.  Something that has no mercy towards us and we are unable to completely destroy.  We've been at the top of the food chain for too long and it is fine time that this 'thing' puts us back in our place.

The 'thing' I am talking about can any thing.  It can be natural or not, but it has to kill us and we have to be concerned of its whereabouts at all times.  It can't just be something that comes out between the hours of 2am and 4am killing people who leave the bar.  It needs to hunt us all hours of the day.  When those of us who get up early to go to work, when we go to our car in the morning we need to know that that situation is no longer an easy peasy walk where we think about the coffee we are going to get at shitty Tim Hortons (see previous post).  Or we are thinking about what we are wearing, or what we are going to do that night, or what we did the night before, or how great our shower was.  We need to be aware, present and in the moment.  Because our predator can come out of anywhere at any time and kill us.  This would bring us unity as well.  I'd be much more apt to call my neighbour in the morning and ask them, "Hey Donna, how are you?  Have you seen the 'thing' this morning?  No, well me either, but if I do I will let you know.  Ok, yup, you too.  Bye Donna."  If you hate Donna just don't tell her about the 'thing' and no more Donna.  That shitty neighbour is gone.  We will care more deeply about our loved ones.  Our efforts in getting together will be more meaningful.  "You came to my birthday?!  Thanks so much everyone.  You could have been killed in coming here and you came anyway; that just shows how much you care."  We could finally stop fighting and killing each other and focus on what is killing us.  Just like at sporting events where people with many levels of differences unite to back their team to kick the shit out of whoever it is that opposes their home team.  That could be the human race.   Us banding together, putting our religious, political and cultural differences aside so we can fight against the 'thing'.  Even in the smallest of triumphs against the 'thing' we would find brotherhood and sisterhood with one another, understanding and compassion; a memory of an experience shared in unity.  So, maybe we should make it.  Or find it.  Or breed it.  To help ourselves become ourselves again.

This could be a great way to live.  We could send the elderly to fight the 'thing' first.  Arm all humans who are living in assisted living situations and give them the one mission that brings meaning and purpose to their lives again; to kill the 'things'.  And if they did die in their attempt to kill the 'things' they would die honourably.  That is something that is missing in our culture - the gift of an honourable death and I believe that people deserve that.  To die wasting away in a room is not a way of dying honourably it is a way of dying miserably.  This concept would keep our population growth in check as well.  It could tighten the gap between the three people born every second and the one person dying every second.  This would lessen our impact on the environment as their would be less of us weighing upon its supplies.  It would mean less of us in cars on the roads.  It would be less of us building suburban homes that aren't economically viable.  It would be less of us wasting our lives away doing nothing.  It would... be a great sci-fi movie.

The title of the movie?  The Food Chain.  You're welcome young producer.  Now go out there  and make this thing happen.  And if the government is reading this maybe we can 'find' this thing on Mars or accidentally make this 'thing' in a lab.  Seriously, let's help the human race get back on it's toes again.

Wednesday, October 8, 2014

Feature #4 - w/ Death

Hey Eddy!

So this weeks podcast is about death.  Yup, one of the two guarantees of this life we live, death and... taxes.  Just kidding.  I've been thinking/pondering about death a lot lately - what it means to me, my family, others, how we deal with death culturally, nationally and universally.  It is the one thing that we all know we will face one day and yet it is the one thing that we know next to nothing about.  To know is to experience and well, if you have experienced death then you are no longer in this reality to tell us of it.  AND fuck those people who have flat lined and come back, or have seen the light and turned around.  They didn't die, they almost died.  I've left my house lots and said I was going to the store and ended up at the mall.  We've all gone to sports games and sang the national anthem, but if we left right afterward that point we wouldn't be able to say what the game is like.  Those people just got a taste - like opening up a bag of M&M's, but never eating one; they cannot say what death is like because they never went through death the whole way.  If someone has chest pains they can't tell you what a heart attack is like.  You get the point right?

So this is a tribute to death, and life as well because without one we cannot have the other.  I'm writing cannot a lot, right?  And for me, I've finally come to a place in my life where I am afraid of neither actually, lately, I've felt like death may be a better thing than life - this life anyway.  The world kind of sucks, people suck, societies suck, "progress" sucks, starvation sucks, pain sucks, love sucks, etc. etc.

Here is the podcast and please feel free to comment on it with your point of view as I'd love to learn something new.

THE DEATH PODCAST

Wednesday, October 1, 2014

Short and Local

I've been thinking a lot about a variety of things lately.  It's very easy to think out here at the woodpile as you are stacking or chopping wood most of the day, but I love it.  I get to write jokes in my head, think of what is happening around me and sing songs.  Those are the things that I do with my day, I like it, it keeps me busy.

I thought of this joke today:

I would make a horrible deer.  You know when you see a deer from 20 or 30 yards away and the deer clearly knows that you are there and they feel your every movement?  I'm no good at that type of intuitive behaviour.  If I was a deer you'd be able to come up behind me, grab my tail and yell, "Boo!" And I would pee my dear pants.  Literally, hunters would be able to save ammunition and just walk up to me and choke me out.  I wouldn't even be a deer in the headlights I'd just have my head down and a car would plough right over top of me.  As my deer spirit was leaving my deer body all I could think would be,"What happened?  I was just eating some gravel."

It needs some work, but I like the premise. :)  Famous words from all comedians.

Sorry this is so short and sweet, but I'm working on a podcast based around the idea of death and well, it's taking me some time.  Yet, at the same time, I would like to keep posting at least something every Wednesday - so here you have it.  My lame joke.

Be well Eddy!  And go see a performance from a local artist this week.  Or go try a new restaurant that is owned and operated by a local (not a corporation) this week.  Go to the market and buy local food, grown by local people.  Support you community and watch it grow into a beautiful place.

"If you are ever sick, don't go see Dr. Acula. " Mitch Hedberg